toddlers Archives - Life is Beautiful

A Pearachute Moment Explained

November 18, 2016February 9, 2017 Patty Parker Leave a comment

Yesterday I took our youngest child to My Gym in Frisco. My oldest was at school and my husband, who was working from home, was able to keep an eye on our middle child. So, this adventure was a rare time together with just the baby.

The class was a “mommy and me” environment which included circle time, free play on all the equipment, baby friendly exercise moves, and even a set independent time for play while the mommies stood to the side.

As I sat there watching my son play, I overheard two moms talking about their kids and where the other lived. They ultimately exchanged phone numbers in hopes of a future playdate.

We ended our time together where we started on the circle mat singing and clapping.

I love every moment of it. Not because the class was amazing, although it was, but because I was spending time with my son doing something new. Something that was hard to do with three kids. I kept thinking: “Wow this is such a cool class. I wish I had been brave enough to try something like this with my first two kids!”

I’ll be honest I’m an introvert and I have children. That’s hard. I’m also a homebody. And I have children. That’s harder.

That’s why I am so thankful for Pearachute Kids. Pearachute Kids is the reason I got out the door on Monday and many other days in the past few weeks to try something new with my children.

What is Pearachute Kids?

Pearachute Kids began in Chicago after a mom of boys signed her kids up for soccer. After the first practice, it was blatantly obvious that the World Cup was not in her boys’ future and either the next 8 or so weeks would be miserable for her and her boys or miserable on her pocketbook. Wouldn’t it have been easier if her boys could have dropped into a soccer class? They could have tried it out and determined pretty quickly it wasn’t for them. This is what birthed Pearachute Kids.

Pearachute is an incredibly neat membership program that allows you to try out some of the neatest classes in the area before you commit to a membership or class session .

In the past 6 weeks, we have tried out Bounce U, Le Ballet, Carefree Colors, and My Gym. This weekend my little ballerina will try out a tumbling class at Studio Three Dance and I can’t wait to see what my eldest thinks of Undaunted ATA Martial Arts in a few weeks.

These have been awesome opportunities to give venues a try. Some I’ve been able to determine were not age appropriate or really too far of a drive for us. Others I would have never known existed. Carefree Colors, for example, is literally one building over from my favorite Starbucks! Thanks, Pearachute!

And our most recent adventure: I have to say My Gym just blew me away with their excellence, the cleanliness of the equipment, and their beautiful kindness. However, I never would have walked through their doors on my own.

Pearachute Kids has given me an excuse and an easy on-ramp for trying new things without the added pressure of wondering if it will be a good fit or not. Not a good fit? We move on to the next Pearachute Drop-In opportunity. And when I find the right dance studio or karate class, I’ll know my investment will not be wasted.

A Wise Investment

My almost six year old has been taking piano lessons since this summer. I felt like he had an affinity for music and would truly enjoy and excel with lessons. It was a gamble that did work out. What if that untapped musical ability, however, was better left untapped? What if I had started him in lessons and it was a train wreck? I would have been out my money or my child would have been miserable. I would have been stuck taking my child to lessons he didn’t like or had to make the painful pocketbook decision to pull him from those lessons.

Pearachute Kids helps make those expenses for classes and memberships a much wiser purchase and, for the homebody-introvert like me, a little easier to give new things a try.

Would you like to give Pearachute Kids try? If you are in the DFW, Kansas City or Chicago area, there’s a Pearachute Kids near you! You can use my code and get a 3 class membership for a $1 (or $38 off a larger plan)! After that, you will renew at the normal rate. Click HERE to sign up and enter the referral code: PATTY2017 at check out. Please note the referral code is case sensitive. If another Pearachute Mombassador referred you to this post, PLEASE use her code instead.

Fine Print: In exchange for this blog post, I have received free services and will benefit from each person that uses my code. The opinions expressed in the post are honest and mine and in no way swayed by my compensation.

THANKS FOR VISITING! I SURE HOPE YOU ARE ENCOURAGED BY WHAT YOU READ. IF YOU’D LIKE TO READ MORE, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY NEW WEBSITE: THE ME TOO! COMMUNITY

Romance: How To Keep It Alive After Baby

September 2, 2016September 2, 2016 Patty Parker 2 Comments

Romance. It sure looks different from the day you married to the day you find yourself rocking an inconsolable babe in the middle of the night. We all know it but until you have kids it is really hard to understand how much it affects your marriage. Although children are a gift, you have to work at it to keep your marriage a priority. Dates are an obvious way to keep the romance alive, but it isn’t always possible to find or even afford a sitter.

Here are 5 tricks my husband and I have learned along the way to help keep the romance going even when kids make it complicated.

#1 Stroller dates

When we only had one child, my husband and I would strap our son into the stroller and we would walk around IKEA talking and dreaming. It was a perfect date. Our son enjoyed the scenic people-watching and we enjoyed the time *alone*. I know a couple who would load their kids into the car, with their jammies on, and grab take out. Then, they would drive around for a few hours while their children slept and they talked. They would often go to the state border! Whatever it takes to get alone time with your spouse, right?! I have friends who do date night’s in. We’ve done this before. You can get the kids to bed and make a special evening together watching a movie or baking cookies or insert you favorite past time. Find activities that are still doable while kids are sleeping or in a stroller or in a pack ‘n play. The point is to have adult conversations, dream a little, hold hands and date!

#2 Coffee Dates

We now have three kids and limited opportunities alone. We’ve started having coffee dates in the mornings. While the kids sleep, we sit in the family room sipping our home brewed coffee and talking. It’s not very glamorous but it is nourishing our relationship. Each morning, we are bridging the gap that having lots of kids and little time creates. I want to note that rhythm was very important in making this happen as well. Until I could guarantee the baby was going to sleep through the night, getting up early for coffee was not going to help our marriage! It may not be a coffee date for you and yours but find a DAILY activity that you can look forward to that provides adult conversation without the constant interruption of little ones.

#3 Resource free or affordable childcare programs

Couples need times when the kids have a safe place to be and you and your spouse have a place to be without them! In our area, both our church and a local non-profit offer Parent’s Night Out programs on a regular basis for a very affordable price. These are priority one in the Parker Household! We block our calendars on these dates. We know that our children will be well loved and cared for and we can have much needed time alone without breaking the bank! The kids have a wonderful time and my husband and I come back refreshed, more connected as a couple, and better parents. There is likely similar programs in your area. Sometimes, you just have to know where to look or who to ask.

#4 Schedule Time Together

I remember sitting in a MOPS meeting this past spring listening to a panel of women sharing their wisdom on how they kept their marriages alive while their children were little. The honesty and ideas that came out of that session were gold. The most priceless advice was to schedule time together both for conversation and intimacy. There will always, ALWAYS, be something or multiple little someones clamoring for your attention. You have to make the decision and steadfast commitment to date, get away without the kids, and remain intimate. It will not just happen. Put a big X on the calendar. Schedule reminders. Carve out times to make your relationship a priority. Having kids has a way of removing the spontaneity of all things romantic but please, still be romantic even if there has to be a big red circle on your calendar reminding you to be intimate with your spouse. I know there will come a time when scheduling quality time alone with your spouse won’t be so hard, but until then do what you gotta do!

#5 Ask for help

Whether this is your first baby or your fifth, you and your spouse just can’t do it alone. Family is not nearby but our church and life group have become our framily. If it had not been for the love, support, and willingness of our friends, I have no idea how we could have cared for our children, when our second and third child was born. We all need a village. Find yours! Plug into a church. Get involved in a small group. Get to know your neighbors. If you’re near family, please invite them into your life and resource the free babysitting! Connect with people who can help you keep your marriage a priority. Swap babysitting with other couples. Watch their kids one week while you have a date, then they can watch your kids while you get a date! You need this. Your spouse needs this. Your kids need this.

Romance with kids is tough!

Jon Acuff said recently: “Toddlers are amazing, but they are also a crisis. They never stop moving, like raptors constantly testing the boundaries of their containment for weak spots. Your life is upside down when you have young kids.” Let’s own the fact that kids make our marriage relationship difficult. You can, however, find ways to stoke the romance flames between spit up, meltdowns, and night terrors. It will get better. And it’s going to take work. Keep pursuing one another. Your definition of romance may need to change for a while but your love for one another doesn’t have to.

[Tweet “Kids make romance hard! You can find ways to stoke the flames between spit up & meltdowns.”]

Your Turn! How have you kept the romance alive between raising littles and the every day demands of life? Comment below with your tips for finding time with your spouse!

Read the introduction here: Bringing Home Baby, Again

Read last week’s post here: How to Help Your Child Adjust to Baby

Next Week!

Having kids does a number on your social life. It brings the spontaneity and late nights to a screeching halt. And if they don’t stop, someone is paying for it in meltdowns and chaos. Join me next week as we discuss how kids change your social life!

Photo Credit: Rhonda Ramirez (header image), Captured Photography by Emily (content photo)

Although your heart multiplies with each darling bundle of joy, your time is divided exponentially. This is why developing a new rhythm that works with your new family dynamic is so critical. It’s not going to come overnight, but you can find a pattern of life that works for your expanding family! Here are 4 tips to help you on your quest for a new family rhythm!

4 Practical Tips for Gaining a Routine After Baby

August 19, 2016August 23, 2016 Patty Parker 5 Comments

Life before baby was different. You managed your finances a certain way. You spent your free time doing things you wanted to do when you wanted to do them. Then baby came along and changed the money priority, the activity priority, the leisure…okay there’s no leisure now. It’s another person fighting for your time and attention. It gets even more difficult with the addition of a second or third or more! Although your heart multiplies with each darling bundle of joy, your time is divided exponentially. This is why developing a rhythm that works with your new family dynamic is so critical. It’s not going to come overnight, but you can find a pattern of life that works for your expanding family!

Here are 4 tips to help you on your quest for a new family rhythm

#1 Take it slow.

Take it slow. If you hear nothing I am saying, hear this: I beg you, implore you, plead, admonish, strongly advise that you take it slow. Very. Slow. Receive the meals for as long as they are offered. Eat take out when they stop. Do whatever it takes to stay sane in the early weeks and months postpartum. The mommy guilt can be strong with this one. We didn’t take it slow and this still lives on as our biggest parenting fail to date. And it happened with every single birth! We tried to bounce back way too quickly. You can read about that adventure here but here’s the short of it: I went back to work too quickly. I literally wore my third child through an entire summer of working because I loved what I was doing so much, but it would take me 5 hours to do what I could do in 30 minutes with a good night’s sleep and good childcare. Neither of which was available. Bless my little heart! Please. Learn from my stupidity. Take it slow.

#2 Look for natural emerging patterns

As life begins to stabilize, take some time to observe your family and your daily activities. Observe what is happening on a daily basis without any amount of mind power. For example, our dinner was consistently on the table about an hour later than our normal dinner time. So dinner time changed. When we brought home our third child, my husband started taking the older two children to school on his way to work. It was meant to be a temporary fix out of necessity, but it turned into a new rhythm for our family. Often these patterns will appear to be failures. Did you notice that you have cooked grilled cheese every Wednesday for a month? Instead of looking at it as a nutrition fail, look at it as a pattern that you and your family can rely upon. Grilled Cheese Wednesday it is! Instead of beating yourself up over things that are not the same, celebrate the new constants that are forming. Find sustainable patterns and rock them, momma!

#3 Be Willing to Experiment

Getting your children on the same schedule is not easy. It will require some give and take and some serious trial and error. Coordinating naps was such a beast for me. For a while, I was putting one child down for a nap just in time for another to wake up. I treasured the one-on-one time but I didn’t have any time for laundry, rest, or creativity. I was exhausted. Through experimentation, I was able to get all three kids on the same schedule. Remember how my husband was taking the kids to school? We added early care so he could get to the office earlier which meant he arrived home earlier. All the mommas say “hallelujah”! We also simplified our menu. We made a list of easy to execute meals and a list of all the grocery items needed. We posted it to the fridge and followed it as best we could. Even now, we have a 7 day menu that we repeat every week. We literally eat the same thing each week. Tuesday really is Taco Tuesday in our house. Is it boring? Yep. It’s working now, too. As the kids return to school in a few weeks, that will probably change, but heeding the advice of tip #1 above, I will be taking it sloooooow!

#4 Ask for help and Don’t Feel Bad About it

I recently heard an interview with Shauna Niequest where she said of seeking help: “Most of us have a deep well of people who would love to care for us but we don’t let them because we don’t think they’ll catch us.” When I had an unexpected C-section with my third child and everyone got sick at the same time, I reached out because I was so scared. I just couldn’t handle it. I HAD to ask for help. The most amazing thing happened when I did. Friends and framily came out of the woodwork to help bring meals, clean my house, and take our kids on adventures so mommy could sleep. One precious woman would text me every week and say: “I am on my way to Kroger. What can I pick up for you?” Do you know how humbling it was to ask for help? It took some major pride swallowing but the gift of love and support was so overwhelming it made dying to my highfaluted opinion of myself truly worth it. Having a baby is life-altering. Give yourself grace.

[Tweet “Having a baby is life-altering. Give yourself grace. “]

Change Happens

I am not a loud person. Having three kids, however, has made my house a loud place. The laundry piles up weekly and that drives me nuts. The minute I say I have mastered a system for the dishwasher the dishes mysteriously appear overflowing in the sink. Dear precious mommy, be okay with the laundry piles even though you swore that you would do a load a day. Give yourself a break if you are still depending on take out when you really thought you’d be well on your merry organic way by now. Family rhythms are as unique as musical rhythms. Sometimes the tempo is fast and upbeat and other times it’s slow and purposeful and sometimes it just feels like a toddler banging the keys!

There’s a time and place for all of it. Keep going, my friend. One day you’ll look up and notice that your family has found a new normal. You’ll think: “This is who we are and how we live now. I love us.”

What about you, friend? What have you done after the addition of a new family member to help create a routine, a rhythm, a breathing pattern? Do you think the dynamic is different with adoption or foster care? Comment below!

Read the Introduction Here! Bringing Home Baby, Again.

Next Week!

Bringing home a baby is hard on the siblings too! They have to get used to another person in the house that is interrupting their sleep or crashing in their room or possibly taking over their room and now they have to share their toys! It can be overwhelming for a little tyke. Join me next week as we talk about how to help the rest of the family adjust to life with another sibling.

Photo Credit: Captured Photography by Emily