I figured out early on in our marriage that as much as my dear sweet husband truly loves me and wants to spend time with me, he still needs space. Now to some of you out there, that may not seem like a big deal, but to me it was. The thought that my man still loved me even though he didn’t want to spend all his time with me was a hard concept to grasp.
Even though I didn’t get it, I tried to allow him that time giving him a man night once a week. At first it was pretty hard…mostly because at the time he was my ONLY point of contact. Our first year of marriage was great but it sure was lonely. We just didn’t have friends. We had one couple in town we hung out with about once a month, my parents who were an hour away and then a few other couples that we hung out with every few months. The church we attended was great but we had no connections. (I’d say the reason for our lack of contact was because we felt at any moment we would be leaving Florida and just didn’t want to make an investment that we’d be pulling out on.)
Anyway, there were nights when I would go to the mall, do a little shopping, drink a lil Starbucks and still be home by 9. Of course my husband would be having the time of his life watching this or that on hulu.com or programming the next big computer thing. He was always happy to see me, but only too excited to get back to what he was doing.
And I was miserable.
Then we moved.
It’s amazing what stability can do to your outlook. With four weeks of Texas living under our belt today, we have found a church to call home, made a few friends here and there, know one of our next door neighbors all too well and have dinner plans with several couples on Saturday evening. Goodbye loneliness!
Tonight is Man Night. I chose to stay in but out of my husband’s way. During the 4-5 hours designated as his man-time, he has made a few pit stops, in the living room where I am, to small talk. And I’m the one who is excited that he stopped by but all too ready to get back to my reading or writing or whatever activity I have found to engage my time while he revels in manhood.
Of course he is still enjoying his man time and I am so glad that he can get it. I think the time apart for both of us is very healthy. I believe it causes us to treasure even more the time we spend with one another.
Man Night. A very good thing.