I really didn’t think I would be writing a post entitled Week 41. I really thought by now it would be entitled something more along the lines of Baby Journey: Dominic’s First Week (with tons of adorable pictures)
But here I sit at 8am on a Thursday at 41 weeks with no signs of Dom’s arrival to report. Sure I’ve had contractions. Almost 2 weeks ago I was (in technical jargon that cracks me up that it is acceptable to say in public when pregnant) 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. Although I haven’t been checked since then, I know I have dilated more and effaced hopefully 100%. I’ll know more today at my appointment.
So what has this pregnant woman done to keep herself busy these last few weeks, more specifically, since her due date has come and gone?
- cleaned the house from top to bottom
- moved on to home improvement
- organized and purged EVERYTHING
- watched almost every movie we own
- played games
- spent more time on Facebook than I am willing to admit
- cooked and frozen meals
- walked 2 different malls
- snacked and probably gained 5lbs in one week of waiting
- had a craft night
- had some amazing talks with my mom
- drank at least a gallon of red raspberry leaf tea
- done at least 30 loads of laundry (even with my mom here, that’s excessive)
- cried at least another gallon of tears
- journaled in my mommy journal (I am convinced I will finish it before he comes)
- resolved myself to the fact I will be pregnant forever and considered contacting Ripley’s Museum
No joke. It has been hard. Harder still is seeing the look of anticipation on my mom and husband’s face each morning thinking this could be the day and the look of defeat as we say good night yet once again with no sign of a baby.
Monday, we went to the birthing center for a sonogram. Although Dominic can take his time, to a certain degree, we still need to make sure that my body is adequately taking care of him in the process. I am happy to report some more medical jargon: there is plenty of amniotic fluid and my placenta is still ‘young’. He is healthy with a great heart beat and there’s a test they give in utero, similar to the apgar, and he scored 8 out of 8.
So he’s fine. And I should be fine, too.
But honestly. I guess I can be honest on my own blog.
I. Am. Not. Fine.
I know what I am feeling is normal. I’m sure every mommy to be gets to that place where they just want to hold their sweet baby so very much. And it seems as if that moment will never come. Or that something will get in the way of that moment ever becoming a reality. See I told you I was emotional.
I had a neat God moment last night. I’ve actually had several and every time I think: “So that’s why he hasn’t come!” And yet there seems to be more work to be done on this mommy-in-preparation’s heart.
It goes back to that fear of never really getting to meet him. That something will prevent it from happening. As I mulled over this fear in my heart, I thought about the day that will come when we dedicate our son (who will come eventually) to the Lord. Of course, by dedicating Dominic, we are committing to raise him in a godly home. We are committing to introduce our sweet little boy to Jesus. But we are also giving him back to God. We are trusting God that he will keep him safe. That he will guide his steps. That his future is secure whatever that path may look like because, although we physically get to keep him, he is not ours but belongs to our Heavenly Father.
If I cannot trust God to get me through the next few hours or possibly days before bringing Dominic into the world, how will I ever have the faith to fully rely on God once he’s here? So I prayed and released my sweet Dominic and his future to God. I will meet him and he will be wonderful. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Beautiful eyes and the perfect smile.
Until then, I trust God’s timing and the wisdom he has given my care provider. Today at 4, we will see what’s next.
Come soon little Dom. Mommy thought she was patient but she just can’t take much more of this waiting!