What I’m feeling must be who I am, right? How easy it is to swing from Super Mom to Super Fail all by what happens next.

A Good Mom: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally

My family has been sick for what feels like forever. The month of November has not been kind to us. Each time someone starts looking puny, my hand reaches for their forehead to check their temperature. And with the confirmation of a fever or virus or stomach bug, the direction of our day and often week totally changes.

Isn’t that how motherhood is? We are headed in one direction when, all of a sudden, the temperature of the day changes and our mommy mindset with it.

The Shift

All it takes to go from super mom to super fail is:

  • walking into a less than favorable parent-teacher conference
  • realizing your kids seem to be the loudest in the restaurant and no one else is amused
  • your child has a meltdown in the middle of a store and everyone stares

It is so easy to allow the comments and even the compliments to adjust our mommy perspective.

  •  “Your kids are so well behaved! You are raising them right, mom!”
  • “Your child has the best manners. You’re a good mommy.”
  • “Your son is so smart. You are doing a great job!”

Let’s consider the implication of these statements.

What if my children have meltdowns in public? Are they no longer well-behaved? Am I no longer “raising them right”?

What if my kid hasn’t mastered please and thank you yet? Am I bad mom, then? Shouldn’t we at least consider the thousands of times I remind them in private to use their manners while holding my breath in public hoping they will produce a “manners crop” worthy of mommy’s tireless sowing and tilling at home.

What if my child struggles academically? Am I bad mom if my child doesn’t know his ABC’s by age three or if he doesn’t catch on to reading in Kindergarten as fast as the other children?

Don’t Take Credit

I’ve heard it said: “We can’t take credit for the good choices our children make, so why do we allow ourselves to take the blame when they make poor choices?” Why do we allow our value to be so significantly connected to this human being who, from day one, has a personality all his own, quirks and gifts unique to him, and a will that can’t easily be deterred?

Perspective. If only I could keep this in the forefront of my mind when things go crazy. I am not a bad parent because my daughter decided to create a poopy Picasso on her bedroom wall during naptime. Having a child who is compliant and the poster child for rule-following does not make me a good parent, either.

It’s not either Super Mom or Super Fail. It’s just mom. Good mom.

  • Mom who loves her children.
  • Mom who prays for her children.
  • Mom who loses her cool and yet finds the humility and grace to model repentance when she says, “Mommy messed up. Will you forgive me?”
  • Mom who orders take out. A lot.
  • Mom who tries her best.
  • Mom who trusts that if she gives God her most precious possession, her children, that he will lead and guide and order her steps.
  • Mom who trusts He will bridge the gaps of inadequacy that she feels and faces.

What I’m feeling must be who I am, right? How easy it is to swing from Super Mom to Super Fail all by what happens next.
Tossing the thermometer is not easy. As authors Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae so clearly articulate in their book Desperate,

“Motherhood is a topic in our culture today that elicits countless voices of opinions, polarized formulas, and arbitrary laws set forth by human imperfection. The voices in a mother’s life can be overwhelming and destructive if not curbed by the true voice of the Holy Spirit.”

God’s word is where I challenge you to go when you begin to think:

Am I good enough?

God’s word says:  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14


Will I ever get this mom thing right?

The Bible says:  “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6


I have no idea what I am doing!

Scripture says: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

You are Enough

In her book Present Over Perfect Shauna Niequest said,

“It is only when you understand God’s truly unconditional love that you begin to understand the worth of your own soul- not because of anything you’ve done, but because every soul is worthy, every one of us is worthy of love, having been created by and in the image of the God of love.”

Dear sweet mom of one or two or ten, God’s word says you are loved.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

Regardless of how you feel you measure up as a parent and most definitely regardless of how your child is acting at this present moment, you are loved and valued.

Whether your children are well behaved or swinging from the chandelier, you are a good mom.

Say that out loud. “I am a good mom”.

I think we all need that daily reminder. Before your feet hit the floor, you are a good mom and after your feet step into water from the overflowed bathroom sink, you are still a good mom.

I’m locking arms with you in motherhood solidarity.  You’ve got this!

Next Week!

It is so easy to look at the outside appearances of a mommy who looks like she has it all together. Social media alone can paint a picture of parenting perfection that can cause us to feel as if we’ll never measure up. Join me as we put an end to this comparison trap often referred to as the mommy wars.

Thanks for joining me on this journey of tossing the ther{MOM}eter! You can read the introduction here!

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A Pearachute Moment Explained

Yesterday I took our youngest child to My Gym in Frisco. My oldest was at school and my husband, who was working from home, was able to keep an eye on our middle child. So, this adventure was a rare time together with just the baby.

The class was a “mommy and me” environment which included circle time, free play on all the equipment, baby friendly exercise moves, and even a set independent time for play while the mommies stood to the side.

As I sat there watching my son play, I overheard two moms talking about their kids and where the other lived. They ultimately exchanged phone numbers in hopes of a future playdate.

We ended our time together where we started on the circle mat singing and clapping.

Pearachute Kids has given me an excuse and an easy on-ramp for trying new things without the added pressure of wondering if it will be a good fit or not. Not a good fit? We move on to the next Pearachute Drop-In opportunity. And when I find the right dance studio or karate class, I’ll know my investment will not be wasted.

I love every moment of it. Not because the class was amazing, although it was, but because I was spending time with my son doing something new. Something that was hard to do with three kids. I kept thinking: “Wow this is such a cool class. I wish I had been brave enough to try something like this with my first two kids!”

I’ll be honest I’m an introvert and I have children. That’s hard. I’m also a homebody. And I have children. That’s harder.

That’s why I am so thankful for Pearachute Kids. Pearachute Kids is the reason I got out the door on Monday and many other days in the past few weeks to try something new with my children.

What is Pearachute Kids?

Pearachute Kids began in Chicago after a mom of boys signed her kids up for soccer. After the first practice, it was blatantly obvious that the World Cup was not in her boys’ future and either the next 8 or so weeks would be miserable for her and her boys or miserable on her pocketbook. Wouldn’t it have been easier if her boys could have dropped into a soccer class? They could have tried it out and determined pretty quickly it wasn’t for them. This is what birthed Pearachute Kids.

Pearachute is an incredibly neat membership program that allows you to try out some of the neatest classes in the area before you commit to a membership or class session .

In the past 6 weeks, we have tried out Bounce U, Le Ballet, Carefree Colors, and My Gym. This weekend my little ballerina will try out a tumbling class at Studio Three Dance and I can’t wait to see what my eldest thinks of Undaunted ATA Martial Arts in a few weeks. 

Pearachute Kids has given me an excuse and an easy on-ramp for trying new things without the added pressure of wondering if it will be a good fit or not. Not a good fit? We move on to the next Pearachute Drop-In opportunity. And when I find the right dance studio or karate class, I’ll know my investment will not be wasted.

These have been awesome opportunities to give venues a try. Some I’ve been able to determine were not age appropriate or really too far of a drive for us. Others I would have never known existed. Carefree Colors, for example, is literally one building over from my favorite Starbucks! Thanks, Pearachute!

Pearachute Kids has given me an excuse and an easy on-ramp for trying new things without the added pressure of wondering if it will be a good fit or not. Not a good fit? We move on to the next Pearachute Drop-In opportunity. And when I find the right dance studio or karate class, I'll know my investment will not be wasted.

And our most recent adventure: I have to say My Gym just blew me away with their excellence, the cleanliness of the equipment, and their beautiful kindness. However, I never would have walked through their doors on my own.

Pearachute Kids has given me an excuse and an easy on-ramp for trying new things without the added pressure of wondering if it will be a good fit or not. Not a good fit? We move on to the next Pearachute Drop-In opportunity. And when I find the right dance studio or karate class, I’ll know my investment will not be wasted. 

A Wise Investment

My almost six year old has been taking piano lessons since this summer. I felt like he had an affinity for music and would truly enjoy and excel with lessons. It was a gamble that did work out. What if that untapped musical ability, however, was better left untapped? What if I had started him in lessons and it was a train wreck? I would have been out my money or my child would have been miserable. I would have been stuck taking my child to lessons he didn’t like or had to make the painful pocketbook decision to pull him from those lessons. 

Pearachute Kids helps make those expenses for classes and memberships a much wiser purchase and, for the homebody-introvert like me, a little easier to give new things a try.

 


Would you like to give Pearachute Kids try? If you are in the DFW, Kansas City or Chicago area, there’s a Pearachute Kids near you! You can use my code and get 50% off your first month. After that, you will renew at the normal rate. Click HERE to sign up and enter the referral code: PATTYDFW at check out. Please note the referral code is case sensitive. If another Pearachute Mombassador referred you to this post, PLEASE use her code instead. 

Fine Print: In exchange for this blog post, I have received free services and will benefit from each person that uses my code. The opinions expressed in the post are honest and mine and in no way swayed by my compensation. 

Being a mom has meant an induction into an unexpected hall of fame. One not as shiny as outside impressions would have you think.

Motherhood: How to Handle the Unexpected

Motherhood sure has been a very unexpected journey. In January, I will celebrate my sixth birth day. My eldest will turn 6 and I will surely relive the weeks, days and hours leading up to his birth. I am a mommy. I earned that title at 8:44pm on a Thursday in a Texas hospital. My son was 2 weeks late and 15 minutes away from a c-section. The details of that birth are for another time (you can read about it here if you’d like), but I share my rocky-not-as-I-envisioned beginning to help illustrate my entrance into motherhood. It came much later than I expected in a much more complicated way than I thought.

That has been my experience with most of my adventures as a mom. The romantic notion of hot, fresh and healthy breakfasts served daily, followed by stories snuggled on the couch and a little homeschooling and park adventures in between, starting dinner and kissing my husband as he walks through the door from work is, well, just a romantic notion. We do have hot breakfast but it is often coming out of the toaster oven and compliments of Kroger brand waffles. We do enjoy books snuggled on the couch but we also watch too much television and skip story time if bath-time takes a turn for the worst and everyone, including mommy, is falling apart.

Reality includes:

  • snotty noses
  • three-year-old tantrums (which are much worse than the infamous terrible twos!)
  • destroyed playrooms that were carefully and lovingly cleaned only seconds prior to said massacre.

Being a mom has meant:

  • crumbs everywhere. every. where.
  • stress in marriage.
  • lots of noise
  • screams (both mine and that of my children)
  • no more time.
  • no time.

Being a mom has meant an induction into an unexpected hall of fame. One not as shiny as outside impressions would have you think.

 

Being a mom has meant an induction into an unexpected hall of fame. One that is not as shiny as outside impressions would have you think.

As Lisa Jo Baker said in her book Surprised by Motherhood: “Parenting is not for the faint of heart. And it’s especially not for the type A personalities accustomed to having their ducks in a row, and all their check boxes checked, and their sofa cushions, cereal boxes, and entire lives neatly arranged”.

I don’t like to admit it but I definitely live in the type A camp. A clean house isn’t asking too much is it? A check mark beside each item on my to do list makes me feel accomplished! When the day doesn’t go as planned, I definitely find it hard to be okay . None of these things are bad by the way. The problem is when the doing gets in the way of being. When the envisioned outcome becomes prized over reality, we lose sight of what motherhood is all about. Kids bring crazy and we can embrace it or exhaust ourselves trying to live out an ideal with which no one can keep up.

Embrace the Unexpected

As we peel away this mistaken fairytale take on motherhood, we can begin to embrace this mommy gig for what it is:

  • hard
  • breathtakingly beautiful
  • hard
  • glorious
  • heart- Rending
  • amazing
  • hard
  • a priceless gift

What’s Your Story?

What about you? Share what your induction story looks like? What has surprised you most about being a mom? Comment below!

Next Week!

What I’m feeling must be who I am, right? How easy it is to swing from Super Mom to Super Fail all by what happens next.

 

Thanks for joining me on this journey of tossing the ther{MOM}eter! You can read the introduction here!